What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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