Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
