i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
