hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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