On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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