I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
