i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
