I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
