How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Welp...herpes.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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