You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
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strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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