Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
