Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
