Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
