ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
