whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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