Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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