after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
