Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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