She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
