a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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