last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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