I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
