no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
