So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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