our cab driver is having phone sex.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it's great music for shaving your balls
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
