Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize