apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
