Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
