So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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