Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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