I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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