chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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