you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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