Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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