I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He? As in you personified your dick?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize