Fuck appropriateness.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
