I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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