Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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