Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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