you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
