I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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