He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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