Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
