She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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