She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
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I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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