How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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