It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Enjoy the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize