that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Someone shit on the floor
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
