But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
