Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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