Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
