I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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