Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
