Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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