im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
