If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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