I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
