okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it glows. i had to have it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
