Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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