i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
