What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
