Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
