So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
