it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize