is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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