Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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