I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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