ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
