yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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