did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
